starlight all over
by januarylightsphere
Summary: you can't catch the stars, it's just one of those facts of life - norway, taiwan, nortai, nyotalia.


**disclaimer:** the same. the same.

there is no real plot progression, but i think you can sort of guess what's happening.

pairing: nyo!nyotai, nyo!icetai, sort of.

some names: nyo!taiwan = zhi yang, nyo!norway = aina, nyo!iceland = ella, nyo!china = chunyan, nyo!south korea = young-hi, nyo!hong kong - qiu min, nyo!vietnam = quan, nyo!denmark = mathilda, nyo!sweden = beatrice, nyo!finland = tina, and most of them are only mentioned i'm sorry.

nyo!taiwan and nyo!hong kong are twins.

* * *

He watches her stand still on the balcony, starlight on her bare skin and her hair and wonders if it'll be enough.

(he knows the answer has been written, on the stars.)

.

The park is wide and grey and cold, abandoned by the children who adore it best and left alone to suffer the wrath of wind of the storm that hasn't stopped screaming, but he still finds her there, because she's not the type of girl to give up on everything, including this park, especially this park, and he just doesn't have that heart of gold. She's leaning against the rain-dump trunk of an old willow tree, hair falling around her face in a mass of silver which never fails to remind him of starlight he likes so much, she's got a mug of coffee in her hand and a book in another, and she looks so pretty that it hurts even though he thinks he's got used to it.

(you can't have starlight, he knows.)

"Aina." He whispers when he's within earshot, and her head tilts upwards, indigo eyes bright against the grey sky. "What're you doing out there? You'll get yourself ill."

His reprimand sounds weak in his ear, and to be honest, who's he to do that? He's not surprised when she doesn't seem to listen to him, judging by the casual shrug of her shoulders. It's difficult, really, to care about such trivial matters when there are a thousand impossibilities stretching between his body and hers, looking like a whole universe, spiraling and electrifying and untouchable and kind of like her.

"Then I'll take medicine." She replies, bookmarking her page and closing her book so that she can stand up to face him, does he mention that her eyes are really bright? Zhi Yang gulps, feeling her orbs burning into his own and he has to gather all his courage in order not to keep his eyes open. Is it possible for a pair of eyes to haunt a person forever?

He can't bring himself to break the silence, even as his breath gets faster and harder and the rain starts to pour down on them. She takes a sip of her hot coffee, her gaze never leaving his, even when the thunder roars and a flash of gold reflects in those orbs. It's lucky that her eyes aren't really gold.

Somewhere in the distance, a ring glistens on her sleeping sister's finger.

"You're getting married to her." She says simply as if she's just thought of it, and the nonchalance in her voice sends a knife through his heart.

(he deserves that, he supposes.)

"I - " Zhi Yang clears his throat. "I'm sorry."

"Remember to treat her well. She deserves the best. I refuse to let you give her anything less."

It's a pretty ring, diamonds and amethyst and a band of gold.

She takes a step closer, his heart speeds up. Wind burns through the leaves of the trees, and rain keeps falling down on Earth, her hair darkens, but still silver enough to remind him of starlight.

No one can have starlight, it's a fact of life.

"I love you", and then she leaves.

.

His 'I love you, too' is too small to be heard in the swirling winds.

.

Stars shimmer and moon shines and ring glitters golden and silver the night he gets married in a small garden full of blooming peonies and roses and the laughter of his friends and family. His oldest sister and her oldest sister sit together, wearing red dresses and red flowers in hair and trading stories when their baby siblings were still babies. His oldest sister Chun Yan says something about a fine young man he's grown up into, and his other, Young-Hi walks around the garden and causes mayhem whenever she goes, and his brother Quan just stand next to Chun Yan, perhaps is to make sure that he won't get herself drunk, but Chun Yan insists that her brother worry too much.

"You should go looking for some girls," He hears Chun Yan saying. "Your brother's getting married but you're still single." He hears his brother sigh in defeat and turns to Qiu Min to tell her to keep an eye on Chun Yan. But Qiu Min is looking at Zhi Yang, eyes unreadable, and he has the feeling that she may know something, because his twin sister is too sharp for her own good.

Weddings are happy time, but Zhi Yang can't bring himself to smile.

Ella looks beautiful, radiant in white as she glides down in the aisle holding a bouquet of roses. Her silver hair glitters under the moonlight, blue eyes dance with the brightness of her smile, she looks so gorgeous and happy and lively and - and -

And all he can think of is Aina.

He takes her hands, says his vow, kisses her until he's dizzy and everything is clapping and cheering and smiling, _apart from her._

She's always the exception of his rules.

After dancing with Ella and his sisters and her other sister (Tina, Beatrice, Mathilda), Zhi Yang finally manages to corner the last one near the refreshments table on the outskirts of the wedding party. He hasn't yet had a chance to see her, she's been avoiding him, but there's nowhere for her to run now.

"Congratulations", Aina says when she sees him, because he can't think of anything to say and all his words are dying in his throat when he looks at her, just looks straight at her, and it's making him more dizzy than kissing Ella ever did, because - well, because damn him, damn everything.

She looks beautiful.

"Thank you very much.", he replies, because what else can he say to her now? He can't mention - he has no right to - the day in the park or all those nights on the balcony stargazing or all the afternoons when they would sit on the grass and watch the clouds soar by. And he can't mention how pretty she looks beautiful in her white bridesmaid dress with a cerulean color hair clip and starlight dancing on her skin and her face and in her eyes and everywhere around her.

And he can't mention how the ring on his finger feels like lead every time he looks at her, so why say anything at all?

But the words spill out anyway. "I love you, you know." He needs to say it, the broken confession that she hadn't heard that day in the park, the confession that had lost in the storm.

Aina's gaze turns to ice. "You're married." She says, as if he hasn't known this already.

"I'm sorry." He whispers, his hand reaching out to hers, the wedding ring sparkling. Aina takes a deep breath, but she doesn't withdraw her hands, and this allows him to draw her close to his body. It's the worst possible time, at the worst possible place, with the worst possible person, but he does it anyway because he needs to remember how it feels.

And maybe, within her line of vision, Ella will think it's only a hug between her husband and her sister.

Aina smells of heather and regret and sadness, and when he pulls away, he feels his heart lighten.

"Don't hurt Ella. Promise me you'll give her the best." She says, eyes lighter but they still burn holes through his heart, and he nods. There is no way to undo it (and he's not sure he wants to), but it's over, finally over. "Then I'll see you around." There is wistful smile on her face before her heels click on the floor as she walks to where Qiu Miu and Quan are talking, and easily coaxes Aina into a dance. His brother twirls her around once, twice, three and four times, and a slow, genuine smile works its way across her face and into her eyes.

.

He falls asleep with Ella at his side that night, and thinks maybe it'll be alright.

(once upon a time, there is a boy who loves starlight, and slowly learns that it's meant to be watched from afar.)

* * *

 **a/n: messing up the new ship beyond measures, tada. i don't even know. first fic of 2016 and I still write angst.**

 **like always, i can't think of a proper title and summary.**

 **so, about the name of nyo!taiwan, i asked my friend rakuraiwielder on tumblr for help and she tells me the name Zhi Yang. Zhi Yang (Zhìyáng) 智阳,Chinese, literally means wisdom of the sun Zhì 智 comes from智慧, wisdom. Yáng阳 comes from太阳, sun. Because of the interpretation that nyo!taiwan is probably a cheerful guy but he's also perceptive. All credits go to her and her dad.**

 **OkAY BUT WHAT IS CHEERFUL ABOUT MY FIC HAHAHA. I despise myself sometimes.**

 **tbh the whole thing is my original draft and i just fix it until i can't recognize it anymore.**

 **and i'm probably going to leave it their for your own interpretation.**


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